paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
