she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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