Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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