dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
