You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
