I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
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