How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
