I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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