Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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