Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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