I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
NoShamevember. You game?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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