I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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