i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
