So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
