I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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