Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize