I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
