Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
