David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
