How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize