I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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