my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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