i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
wow bdsm is so cute
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize