Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
