dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
