I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
