You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
