Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
