Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
