The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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