i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
