JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
