mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
