By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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