wanna go halves on a baby?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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