How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
