She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
