he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
