I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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