My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
