Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
