I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
