I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
ttyl tear gas
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
