Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My underwear smells like fireworks.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
