Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
