I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
