I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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