How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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