i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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