He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize