i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
