i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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