whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
