i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize