you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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