I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
