i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
