Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize