R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize