He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
