Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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