We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
