I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
