I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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