I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I would ride that face into the sunset
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
