butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
