i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
