guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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