I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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