If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
