3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize