her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
