That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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