Its about making memories worth repressing
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
