i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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