Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
