ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
