her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
