My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
