oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
