So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
