If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
